Nude by Christmas

38 years old, 102kg. One of those numbers is about to change.

Beating Obesity with Beethoven, not Bieber

I’m the heavy middle-aged guy on the treadmill, sweating like a prisoner on death row, as my legs thump, thump, thump against the rubber below. I have my headphones stuck firmly into my ears, partly to block out the incessant noise of Channel V blaring across the room, and partly to I can tune into my training music of choice: Beethoven.

Yeah, how old am I? Instead of Boyfriend, I’ve got Beethoven belting into me. No baby faced Bieber, just my immortal beloved.

I’ve always found the deaf old prick to do find the best in me. When I was writing films and plays, Beethoven was always the one who would reach deep into my soul and bring out the real stuff that I needed to put on the page. Now he’s my sweat master. And my timer. If I can row for a full Choral Fantasy (between 19 and 20 minutes, depending on the conductor), then cycle for a Triple Concerto (say, 35 minutes), I’m pretty satisfied with my cardio.

For weights, it makes sense to go with the Emperor Concerto, or one of the Symphonies. It works every time!

If the cool kids puffing their way through Beyonce or Usher or whoever it is that they listen to while they work up their own slipper sweat knew what I was listening to, I’m sure they’d laugh even harder than they do already.

Bugger them.

Now, if only I could get someone to shoot some music videos of LvB with some booty shaking and plunging necklines, I reckon I’d be set for my gym-going-life.

What do you guys listen to?


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5 thoughts on “Beating Obesity with Beethoven, not Bieber

  1. cultured cardio? talk about sweatin’ to the oldies! ok, enough of my cheesy jokes, you might be able to teach those cool kids a thing or 2 about real music.

    • I think the cool kids would cringe if they knew that I called them the cool kids. That’s probably completely uncool. Or whatever their words for it is these day. What blows me away about the music channel that blares through my gym is that it always seems to be playing the same thing… Is that the go these days? Listen to a song a million times, get sick of it, then move on to the next?

      • that’s the way it is down here. it seems as if the radio station only plays about 5 songs in rotation, some i can’t even call songs, but the annoying part to me is that after hearing a song about 100 times in a week, it kind of grows on me like a parasite. i can’t get it out of my head! maybe that’s the label’s promotional strategy.

  2. beebeejaybee on said:

    I was recently critisized because my choice of running music was “too slow” …. obviously the unmusical person making the comments cant find different beats within each tune…. nice choice by the way your imagry must be amazing

  3. Oh man, sometimes I’ve got to listen to something slow.

    Beethoven is great for zoning out to. It’s just so bloody bold and… genius. I love it.

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